I said it. Own your uterus. It’s yours, along with everything that comes with it.
I understand many women prefer to keep all things uterus personal. For me as a nurse this was a struggle. I decided to be more open. I thought if I didn’t tell people they would think I was insane. I was never nauseated throughout my early pregnancies…but I was exhausted. I could barely keep my eyes open to drive 4 miles home from work. I would have to put my head down on the desk in the middle of the nurses station. And there was the weight gain of course, along with the food and smell aversions. And more importantly having constant anxiety of another loss. I went through this stage for a total of five times. For me it was exhausting to keep the secret, especially at work. As a nurse I had to make up excuses for myself not feeling well, and excuses for not taking care of patients with certain active infections, or on specific medications. After the losses I then had to call out sick for doctors appointments and procedures. Then there was the time I started bleeding at the nurses station.
The thought of starting a blog came to me during more unusual circumstances. And a hard time for me as well. The event for me was my first miscarriage. Though it is uncomfortable to write about, I think it’s important for women to be able to share. I had four miscarriages prior to having my son. I was so sad, angry, bitter, and obsessed with looking for answers. I was also completely frustrated with how women are expected to handle not only losses but pregnancies, and fertility issues in general. Why don’t we talk about it? Why are pregnancies and fertility issues kept secret. Why are women frowned upon for announcing their pregnancies early? Why do we expect women to go through these times alone?
Living in a city that has a highly educated population, full of university professors, teachers, and a very large healthcare industry, most women I know have had to put a family off until their careers are well under way. And like me, they too struggled with fertility issues in their mid to late 30’s and 40’s. However, I had no clue how prevelent this issue was until I was more open about mine own struggles.
For those of you who prefer to keep your fertility private, that’s great. I’m willing to bet there are many women, more than we know, like me that are seeking support, tired of telling lies, and making up excuses. Let’s support them. Face it, when someone is pregnant, the women closest to you know anyway, so just say it, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Don’t we think it’s time that if a women announces a pregnancy early we support her if she has a loss rather than shaming her for telling?
Please, if you’re a women struggling with fertility, just know you’re not alone. If you prefer to keep it mum, by all means do so. Just know if you do find yourself needing to talk, or needing help, or in my case, a scrub jacket to cover my bum, reach out.